Saturday, March 20, 2010

5 Days Down, 49 To Go

Eric left just 5 days ago and it already feels like it's been weeks.  I wish it would get easier and easier to have him gone but it seems to be getting harder and harder.  Maddie's finally at the age where she KNOWS Daddy's away and that he'll be gone for a long time (of course a weekend is a long time to a toddler).  She's been asking for him every day and saying things like "Daddy home" and "See Daddy again".  She says, "Daddy...where are you?" then quietly says to herself "Daddy airport".  She misses him.  She's already been talking about going for bike rides and holding Daddy's hand so I tell her that she can do all those things with Daddy next time he comes home :) 

As for me, I miss him terribly too.  I'll admit that sometimes by the end of THREE SOLID WEEKS of having him home, I'm talking 24/7 here...I get a little anxious to get back to the routine Maddie and I have when he's not here.  I'm ready for him to leave so we can be "normal" again. By the time we get to the airport I'm already rethinking that!  By the time Maddie and I get back to the car in the parking garage the tears are rolling down my face.  8 weeks is a long time to not have him home.  8 weeks of being the sole provider and care taker for Maddie stare at me as I walk back to the car.  It's exhausting just thinking about it, I don't want to face it when I get home.  Eric was a HUGE help with Maddie this time.  He gave her more baths than he usually does, put her to bed more than he usually does, he cooked dinner a few times (which is A LOT more than he usually does) and just helped me out around the house so much!  I was looking forward to a break and I did get a lot of time to rest and take a nap while he was home.  It was so nice.  I hate to give that up.  (Did that just make me sound really selfish?)  It's also nice to have him home so my evenings aren't so quiet.  When Eric was home after Maddie was put to bed we had time with each other. We watched some movies, or just hung out watching tv and talking.  My evenings weren't boring and lonely.  It was so nice.  I miss that already. 

On a brighter note...Maddie continues to flourish every day.  She started speaking in full sentences while Eric was home.  Every day I'll hear her narrating her day, saying things like, "I hold snuggly couch", which means she's holding snuggly ON the couch.  She also says what she hears and what she sees.  She started telling me what she likes.  She had a nectarine for the first time the other day and she told me "I like a nectarine" with  big smile on her face.  She's just so sweet!!  Also she told me "I love you" the other day without me saying it first :)  I just wanted to start made me so happy.  I told her "I love you, too" and she replied with "I love you SO MUCH".  That was the best conversation I've ever had in my life!

In pregnancy news...I'm now 15 weeks and 2 days along.  I felt baby moving a lot last Sunday but haven't felt it much since.  I know it's still quite early so that doesn't concern me.  Sunday we were in the car just about all day (or at least it felt like it) so I had a lot of time to relax and could feel every little move baby made.  It was so sweet to be able to feel it, just knowing there's a new little life in there continues to amaze me!!  After Sunday my life got hectic again and I don't have a lot of time to just sit and relax to feel the baby moving.  I'm always doing something or taking a nap :)  I have felt it once or twice in the evenings, but not nearly as much movement as I felt last Sunday.

Well, I'm going to leave with that.  Please keep our family in your prayers.  I know as hard as this situation is on me and Maddie is just as hard, if not harder, on Eric.  I can't imagine how he goes so long without seeing his baby girl.  It must be so hard for him to listen to me tell him cute stories about Maddie and not be here to see it in person!

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